To some, it may seem as though I were being judgmental…probably I was. I am a judgmental person…and slowly it is being stripped from me. I will tell you a story. I used to walk through Target and hear screaming kids and say to myself, “if that were me, I would….blah, blah, blah…” You can fill in the blanks. A while ago, my MIL was diagnosed with lung cancer, so I decided that me and my girls would go see her for a couple of weeks. We did this the next summer also. We flew into Los Angeles and drove 4 hours north to the Central Coast. We stayed for 2 weeks and had a lovely visit. When it was time to go home…we drove 4 hours again back to Los Angeles to fly out the next day. (It was cheaper to fly in/out of L.A.) I needed diapers…enough to get me through a 24 hour period. I drove to Target in Manhattan Beach on a Sunday. Going to Target on a Sunday in Manhattan Beach is like going to church on Sunday in the South. Not. kidding. Everyone is there! So I’m standing in line at the check out and my oldest (then 4) asks if she can have a Hello Kitty jewelry box that is so conveniently located at her eye level…right at the check out. I said, “no, not this time.” She starts to cry profusely…hyperventillating. I’m holding my baby…trying to help my oldest. Now, I CAN’T give it to her, because she’s crying and we don’t cry to get our way. Everyone in the store is staring at me. I just want to announce to everyone that…we just drove 4 hours from seeing her grandparents…she hasn’t seen her father in 2 weeks…she’s hungry, tired and so am I. It wasn’t about the Hello Kitty jewelry box. You just don’t…really…know what’s going on. There are always 2 sides to every story. Many times I’ve judged a situation because I thought I was right. For many year’s I thought I knew the right way about everything, that I had the corner market on how to do it. I don’t. I’m being stripped of that…thank God! He does have a way of speaking…I just have to listen.
(My in-laws with my girl’s on previous mentioned trip…celebrating Grandpa’s July 4th birthday. My MIL passed away a year and a half later)
That was such a good lesson for all of us. You never know what a person’s story is…..Thanks for reminding us!Fran
A lesson I am learning as well. And while I’m glad to be *finally* learning it, oh! it hurts so bad sometimes!
What a good story. And a great lesson for everyone. Sometimes it’s so hard to be that mother that you never thought you would be!So sorry to hear about your mother in law. At least you were able to spend time with her and make memories with her and your children on that trip.Have a great day!Jen
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Sorry to hear about your MIL. Your right, and you know I was that mom before I had my youngest. I would always say “if those were my kids” to the ones pitching the fits. But now that I have my youngest and we are out and about and she pitches a fit, those stares, well I just say…”It’s like they’ve never seen a child not get their way”.
I’ve had to eat my words many times already (my oldest is 5) in motherhood. I won’t let me car seats look like that (crusty milk and cereal crumbs)… I won’t have two in diapers… I can’t believe she’s out with her kid in it’s pajamas at 10:30a.m. …. etc.God has taught me to turn it around and have more compassion. Sometimes circumstances are unavoidable and … you’re out late, they’re past tired and onto insane! You had to go to the dr right in the middle of lunch and your kids are about to eat each other if you don’t get food in them now! : )
Oh, I get it. We’ve all done it.
What I meant was, I didn’t think you were being judgmental last time! 🙂
Bravo. What a great story. And what a beautiful picture.
so true, so true!
Thanks so much for the gentle reminder!Hugs,Susan
I didn’t “read” you as being judgemental 🙂 I hope I didnt sound like I thought you were.Im sorry to hear about your mother in law. SOunds like ahard trip but I am so glad that you were able to have that time with her and give that time to your chlidren.AND HEY!! I live on the Central Coast of CA!! Too bad we didnt know that then so I could have helped!This totally reminds me of a country song. That happens to me often and I dont even listen to Country music 🙂
Kathy Eller & Holly…and other mom'sI didn't think you thought I was judging. I know myself and after re-reading my last post…thought I sounded a little judgmental. Always learning…
I know what you mean…and we’re always ‘excusing ourselves’ (I was tired or stressed etc) but we rarely give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Lord help us love our neighbors!
What a great story. Thanks for sharing!
Your kids teach you so much. I know the older I get the less judgemental I am. I think we’ve all had that moment in line with screaming kids. I used to live on the Central Coast of California in San Luis Obispo. It’s a pain to get to an airport. Mimi
both posts were completely relate-able to any mom of tots! well said. i’m sorry for your families loss, but glad you took the opportunity to have those weeks with her. -kristen
I totally relate to your message. My children are older now- my baby boy is 16- and I learned that there is no more humbling job than parenting. I only feel empathy for parents who are in distress. Now if they hurt their children, that crosses the line. But the daily struggles? Been there, done that. By the way, the birth of my third child was the tipping point for me on my road to humility.
i used to walk through walmart and see dirty little bare-footed kids wearing the most outrageous clothes and would think, “i can’t BE-LIEVE anyone would ever let their kid out of the house looking like that!” shortly there-after, God blessed me with a beautiful, sweet, independent, fashion-loving girl who, when not in those plastic dress-up shoes, NEVER wears shoes! the outfits she’s worn to walmart (and anywhere else) were horrendous!! somewhere along the way it hit me… what she’s wearing just isn’t THAT important. who she is, is. let that be my focus. loved your blog~