Dear Mr. Coffee,
I love you with all my heart. You are not good for me…even though we’ve had a secret love affair for years. You are my best friend and my confidant. I look forward to getting up…only because I know you’re there waiting for me. I am sad we must end our affair. I was dreaming about you last night. But after you left yesterday and I had a headache for about 5 HOURS… I knew…you were not good for me. We’ve parted before in the past and I returned begging you to take me back. Maybe in my weakness, I will call you again. Oh, how I hate to leave you. But it must be done.
With all my heart,